A local supermarket manager has broken industry ranks and revealed that no customer has ever selected truss tomatoes at the self checkout. The revelation confirms years of suspicion amongst customers.


Supermarket manager David Taylor said, “we’ve had self checkouts here for almost 10 years now, and recent data indicates that not one customer has ever selected truss tomatoes. This flies in the face of the fact that we continue to clear the gourmet tomatoes off the shelves in much higher numbers than are recorded by the traditional staffed checkouts.”

Taylor suggested that customers use one of two common techniques to evade suspicion. He said, “The main one is just taking the green bit off the top so they look like a normal tomato. The other, more ballsier, customers just roll the dice by selecting normal tomatoes then popping the truss on the scales. We are essentially powerless to this fraud, but we still save a shitload on employing actual staff so we just have to cop it.”

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