Eltham mum, Joan O’Donnell, has shockingly admitted to preferring saying “quinoa” than actually eating it. Priding herself on always keeping abreast with the culinary zeitgeist, Joan has been working quinoa into her dishes for the past 12 months, and ruthlessly pulling her children up on any slight mispronounciation. 

But after last night’s dinner, medium rare steak accompanied by a refreshing quinoa salad, Joan’s children relentlessly grilled her on whether she actually liked quinoa. During the inquisition, her eldest son Jerome said “do you even like quinoa mum, or do you just use it in meals so you can drop it into every second conversation that you have?” The immediate silence that followed was the perfect invitation for her three children to launch into a loud chorus of verbal abuse which continued for over an hour. 

In an attempt to end the verbal tirade, Joan retreated to the lounge room with a glass of wine, but her otherwise bored children followed her and continued their ridicule. The circus only ended when Joan’s husband Dale stood up and said “alright, alright, enough! Leave your mother alone. She’s obviously been a bit of a food wanker but try showing some gratitude once in a while!”

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