A joint study conducted by local Baller Magazine and the Diamond Valley Institute of Sports Psychology has controversially revealed that domestic mid-week basketballers who yell “and one” every time  they or a teammate is fouled in the forward half of the court were most likely not hugged enough as children. Whilst there have been significant questions raised about the validity of these controversial claims, anecdotal evidence suggests that, at the very least, these types of players are “tools”, “wankers” and/or “reprobates”. 

Speaking from the Diamond Valley Basketball Stadium after his weekly Wednesday fixture last night, Steve Thompson, captain of the B-Grade Watsonia Wizards, said “I’ve long speculated at the obvious shortcomings in the childhoods of these guys, so it was quite interesting to see it scientifically proven in this reputable study”.

And it seems the findings of the study have already instigated change at the domestic level. The Watsonia Bugle was a guest of the Diamond Valley Basketball Association for last night’s round of games and reported only one use of the term “and one” in the numerous games that were covered. Notably, in that one case, the offender’s teammates were quick to pull him up on the misdemeanour, gesturing quickly at the tool to zip it. 

The Mid-Week Australian Domestic Basketballer Association League Legion (MADBALL) questioned the claims yesterday, saying it was potentially dangerous to make such a grand and personal assumption. They also felt the actual reason might be that this behaviour was caused by players watching too much NBA on pay TV. However, they did concede that they would further investigate the findings, and offer support to regular offenders in case the claims are correct.

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