A recent study into the consumption of fizzy energy drinks has revealed a direct correlation between people drinking them mid-week and being massive bogans. The findings of the study confirm years of anecdotal suspicions, and include all age categories … even the teen market.

The study insisted that consumption of fizzy energy drinks on the weekend did not provide such a clear link to boganism, as many committed binge drinkers like to mix them with alcohol in an attempt to accelerate both their drunkeness and blood sugar levels. However, the study predicted that in 10 years time weekend consumers would also predominantly be bogans too. 

A local woman from Greensborough, spotted in the Main Street cradling a jumbo can of ‘V’, rejected the scientific evidence, telling The Watsonia Bugle yesterday, “nah that’s just bullshit mate, this here have [sic] got nothing to do with me being a bogan and that, I’m just not one of them snobby coffee drinkers, you know. Typical bloody science mate, it’s all fuckin’ rubbish.”

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